Can you wrap a system around that?


I used to think that I didn’t like systems. Every time I found myself dealing with any kind of system — which implies structureI would rebel.

Part of this probably stems from having a childhood that felt way, way overstructured to me. My heart wanted to lounge in open fields with cows, sheep, books, and my journal (not that I lived near any fields), but my days always felt completely scheduled with activities from morning to night — not just riding the bus (an ordeal in and of itself) to school and back, but with afterschool activities, and then homework.

This seems so nuts to me now, but it was considered normal, and, thirty years later, though I don’t have kids myself, my sense is that many kids are even more overscheduled than I was (plus today’s kids have so much more technology to manage).

I think another reason I’ve tended to rebel against systems and structure is that I’m a Myers-Briggs INFP, and we “P” types like to keep things open-ended. Too much structure can feel overly planned and rigid for a “P” and trigger our rebelliousness.

At the same time, I’ve had to admit over the past several years, especially since becoming a coach and attracting clients who also tend to rebel against structure, that the right amount of structure can be a true godsend for those of us who cling to open-endedness (which can sometimes result in saying things like “I’ll write when I’m feeling inspired” or leaving ourselves one hour to complete something that actually takes four — woops!).

Systems and structure do not have to be elaborate or complicated. There just needs to be enough of a system to get it done — whatever “it” is.

Here’s my (very simple) example:

I was having a huge issue with mowing the lawn. It only takes me about 30 minutes, but it was becoming this thing that I so didn’t want to do and eventually I’d have to force myself to do it, angrily, usually swearing. Even though, once I’m doing it, I don’t hate it (except for that one time I mowed over some dog poop). It actually feels kinda good, moving my body, the smell of grass and dirt around me, the heft of the mower.

About a month ago, I figured out the issue. My brother, who used to live here and used to mow the lawn, had told me I should do it “about every ten days.” And I tried this. But it felt increasingly stressful to me. Because “every ten days” could fall on any day of the week. It might be a Wednesday, and then next time a Saturday, and then next time a Tuesday.

It occurred to me that if I mow the lawn every two weeks, it really doesn’t look all that much worse than if I do it every ten days. So I’ve made every other Sunday afternoon my mowing-the-lawn-time. And I think about it so, so much less. On Saturday, or Wednesday, I’m not thinking, “should I do it today?” because I know Sunday is lawn day. Every other Sunday, “mow lawn” is on my to-do list, and I know I’ll do it, and that’s that.

That was all the system that was required. It was actually way more stressful to keep the “when” I’d mow the lawn up in the air than it was to assign a day to do it.

This applies to anything I want to do on a regular basis, whether that’s writing or yoga or doing the dishes: Keeping the “when” up in the air creates stress and vagueness, and vagueness does not produce specific results.

And I think that’s worth consideration for us “open-ended” types. Is keeping something unstructured and open-ended giving us a feeling of peace and freedom, or stress and confusion?

The way to know you’ve hit on the right amount of “system” for you is that you use the system without a huge desire to rebel. (If you have a very strong inner rebel, as I do, you may be a little bit edgy around any amount of system, but when it’s the right amount, you’ll find yourself using it anyway.)

Your body is an excellent guide for whether or not a certain amount of structure is too much or too little. When I am overstructured, I feel frazzled, frenetic, like I’m on a treadmill. There’s a need to catch my breath (literally). When I have too little structure, I can feel sluggish, unfocused and fatigued.

There’s no right or wrong here; each of us has a “sweet spot” where we have enough structure, but not too much. So when I’m struggling with something that just won’t seem to get done, I’ve started to ask myself, “Can I wrap a system around this?” And then I brainstorm a little about what might feel like enough.

How do you feel about systems and structure? Do you tend to rebel against them, or do you find them helpful, or both? I’d love to know, in the comments.

Image is “Poppy Field with Powerlines” © Peter Gustafson | Dreamstime Stock Photos

8 thoughts on “Can you wrap a system around that?

  1. Jill, I am also an INFP and this makes so much sense to me! I loved your example of mowing the lawn. I think this is one of the reasons I like Jenna’s writing sprints so much. It is a schedule for writing that is on my computer. I don’t do so well on the days when we don’t have sprints.


    • Mary, I totally agree with you about the writing sprints. It’s harder for me on the days we don’t have them, too (I have to make sure I create my own structure!). Thanks so much for reading!


  2. I need systems and structure to work in, I become over run with demands and then freeze unless I have something ordered to work to. I think that the system needs to work for me rather than I be a slave to the system.


    • Alex, that’s a really good point about needing the system to work for you rather than you being a slave to the system. I like that way of looking at it; it’s a good way to test whether or not the system or structure is effective for us! Thanks so much for stopping by.


  3. Wise and warm as always…and today is Sunday and…I need to mow the lawn! I haven’t found the balance yet, I tend to swing form no structure to over structure quite wildly…need to ponder this post a while as I know a certain amount of structure really does serve me. Thanks for sharing and inspiring! H xxx


    • Thanks, Harula! It really is an experiment to discover how much structure is enough and how much is too much, isn’t it? I can really swing back and forth between the two as well. And, sometimes I need more (or less) than at other times. Hope your lawn mowing went well! 🙂


  4. Brilliant de-bugging here Jill! I often think of myself as a systems analyst – and you actually did that quite well here too. Being able to look at what is not working, and try something new, that is consciousness in my book. Congrats!


    • Good to hear from you, Roxanne! I noticed while writing this that I actually use systems in so many more ways than I’d previously thought. I’m curious to look more now at which ones are working for me, and which aren’t. Thanks for reading!


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